Sunday, July 12, 2009
Woodleaf
Off to woodleaf. A huge week with younglives. I pray I fall in love with younglives like I fell in love with Capernaum. Pray for me as wdlf is a great but testing place for me. Two weeks of being with great people and god. How lucky am I? Have a good week. See most of you on the bus!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Car wreck
Fun stuff. It's like I have many car wrecks in life
1. I backed up when owen had the door open in my dads car. Wrecked the door and did $2850 on damage to the car next to me. That sucks.
2. I have a huge court thing Friday. My grandfather is probably going to prison for the rest of his life because of me.
3. Going back to paso high.
4. Ben is out of juvenille hall and now into adult court. Which means he will register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
5. I have no job or money.
6. I have really messes up on some relationships.
7. I might join the army
I don't know what else to say. Just catching everyone up. I'm grounded with no car. But that ends eventually. Really feeling lost and upset. Not sure where to go or what to do. Just move on I guess
1. I backed up when owen had the door open in my dads car. Wrecked the door and did $2850 on damage to the car next to me. That sucks.
2. I have a huge court thing Friday. My grandfather is probably going to prison for the rest of his life because of me.
3. Going back to paso high.
4. Ben is out of juvenille hall and now into adult court. Which means he will register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
5. I have no job or money.
6. I have really messes up on some relationships.
7. I might join the army
I don't know what else to say. Just catching everyone up. I'm grounded with no car. But that ends eventually. Really feeling lost and upset. Not sure where to go or what to do. Just move on I guess
Monday, May 4, 2009
Africa!
I got a new kitten!
She is feral. (or wild). lol
so i have scratches everywhere. bite marks on my face and hands. i also wake up every three hours! she is a huge pain in the butt, but way super cute!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
My First Fast!
So When i went to LA my friend fasted. I was so curious and I just loved it.
I didn't know I was going to do it on my own so soon.
So i decided I would fast for 12 hours. 8-8. It was intense. The night before I had prepared myself with reading some scripture and praying. I wanted to have set goals of why i was doing this. I fasted for a friends salvation, obedience to god, and for me just to be closer to Him.
I woke up this morning at 7:45 to eat a little something then began my fast! It was very hard. The first 2 hours were easy. then I went to work. My co-workers make fun of me for being a christian so they didnt quite understand. They only tempted me with cookies in my drawer and lots of yummy things. But After constant prayer I was fine. The hunger pains subsided and only god was on my mind. I related my work situation to real life. Temptation. I thought of how they were tempting me to fail just as we are all tempted by non believers.I also learned that really by prayer and fully trusting i can resist that temptation.
I also learned how good it feels to be in the word so much and to be in constant connection and really put god first. something i have been putting off.
With work, school, and relationships i put god on the backburner. which is not working for me. I learned so much today. I am so proud of myself. and I know God is proud to. I didnt think i would make it, but i think he knew all along.
I wanna pursue my own relationship with christ. I'm ready to not be so dependent on others. there is no middle man. just me and him.
I didn't know I was going to do it on my own so soon.
So i decided I would fast for 12 hours. 8-8. It was intense. The night before I had prepared myself with reading some scripture and praying. I wanted to have set goals of why i was doing this. I fasted for a friends salvation, obedience to god, and for me just to be closer to Him.
I woke up this morning at 7:45 to eat a little something then began my fast! It was very hard. The first 2 hours were easy. then I went to work. My co-workers make fun of me for being a christian so they didnt quite understand. They only tempted me with cookies in my drawer and lots of yummy things. But After constant prayer I was fine. The hunger pains subsided and only god was on my mind. I related my work situation to real life. Temptation. I thought of how they were tempting me to fail just as we are all tempted by non believers.I also learned that really by prayer and fully trusting i can resist that temptation.
I also learned how good it feels to be in the word so much and to be in constant connection and really put god first. something i have been putting off.
With work, school, and relationships i put god on the backburner. which is not working for me. I learned so much today. I am so proud of myself. and I know God is proud to. I didnt think i would make it, but i think he knew all along.
I wanna pursue my own relationship with christ. I'm ready to not be so dependent on others. there is no middle man. just me and him.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
L.A.
The city of angels!
What a trip!
lol.
Lets starty off with I arrived in a cowboy hat and boots.....lol. I had no idea L.A. was so big yet cramped!
I don't go to big cities.
I had tons of fun. in three days i think i had a total of 12 hours of sleep! I don't like LA but i loved being with work crew friends. It pointed me in a better direction with my faith. And it helped me concentrate on the amazing meaning of Easter. He is Risen!
I was in a tv show as an extra! Saw some crazy people! It was something I have never experienced ever! But I loved it. I will be going back again!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Spring Break!
Spring Break is not the same this year. As a kid I was happy i got 2 weeks of lazy days. But since I'm in idependent studies its different. I have a job. My job doesnt have a spring break. lol. So i keep watching My brother go to Concerts in San Francisco and Go to Santa barbara, while I go to work! I feel like an adult with kids. It kinda sucks. So after thinking about it, I took next week off and i am catching a train to LA. I am a small city girl. I have never seen big cities except for Las Vegas and I was amazed. So i'm excited to stay there for a few days. Meeting some friends from work crew and summer staff. I am so excited! I will be sure to post pics when i get back. My friends keep saying little redneck is comin to the city. So they asked that I bring some redneck clothes. lol. I will be arriving in my cowboy hat! lol. I already know I am gonna miss the stars from the lake!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Something I wrote.
Coping is never an easy thing for me. So i wrote like this. when your in a mood i guess it just comes out the way its supposed to
You get the phone call from the one you love saying that sweetie I am very sick, but I know I will be okay. The one you love is a mother, grandmother, sister, and most of all friend. They say I will have a few sick days and then all will be well. I am a survivor and I believe I can beat this. You are sad, but you pray and hope that their faith in believing is enough. Time passes and you think nothing of the illness. You only think of the limitations it has put them in. On the rough days you sit there by bed side knowing and fully believing they will recover from this. You don’t tell anyone because you know this is just a chapter in our lives and it will pass. You are not sad for you know there is no reason to be. Then once again you get the phone call. This time she says I am going in for surgery, I love you, see you when I am done. You head to the hospital only to hear they couldn’t perform the surgery she only has a few more days to live. You’re crushed. She is supposed to make it. The next few days you never leave the hospital. You sleep in her room, eat with her, hold her hand, and just listen to her even when she makes no sense anymore. A week goes by. She shows signs of improvement and gets to go home. You’re feeling better so you don’t spend all waking hours with her. You hang out with some friends and start to lighten up. Then you get the phone call. This time it isn’t her. Its another loved one saying she went home to Jesus come say your goodbyes. You feel horrible. You weren’t there. Even if you were there was nothing you could do. The fact of there is nothing you could have done consumes your mind and tears you down. But you have to let go. And you still have to believe. You still visit her, just now her spirit is with God and her body lies in the ground. You miss her and as hard as it, you know you will see her again.
You get the phone call from the one you love saying that sweetie I am very sick, but I know I will be okay. The one you love is a mother, grandmother, sister, and most of all friend. They say I will have a few sick days and then all will be well. I am a survivor and I believe I can beat this. You are sad, but you pray and hope that their faith in believing is enough. Time passes and you think nothing of the illness. You only think of the limitations it has put them in. On the rough days you sit there by bed side knowing and fully believing they will recover from this. You don’t tell anyone because you know this is just a chapter in our lives and it will pass. You are not sad for you know there is no reason to be. Then once again you get the phone call. This time she says I am going in for surgery, I love you, see you when I am done. You head to the hospital only to hear they couldn’t perform the surgery she only has a few more days to live. You’re crushed. She is supposed to make it. The next few days you never leave the hospital. You sleep in her room, eat with her, hold her hand, and just listen to her even when she makes no sense anymore. A week goes by. She shows signs of improvement and gets to go home. You’re feeling better so you don’t spend all waking hours with her. You hang out with some friends and start to lighten up. Then you get the phone call. This time it isn’t her. Its another loved one saying she went home to Jesus come say your goodbyes. You feel horrible. You weren’t there. Even if you were there was nothing you could do. The fact of there is nothing you could have done consumes your mind and tears you down. But you have to let go. And you still have to believe. You still visit her, just now her spirit is with God and her body lies in the ground. You miss her and as hard as it, you know you will see her again.
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