Something I wrote.

Coping is never an easy thing for me. So i wrote like this. when your in a mood i guess it just comes out the way its supposed to



You get the phone call from the one you love saying that sweetie I am very sick, but I know I will be okay. The one you love is a mother, grandmother, sister, and most of all friend. They say I will have a few sick days and then all will be well. I am a survivor and I believe I can beat this. You are sad, but you pray and hope that their faith in believing is enough. Time passes and you think nothing of the illness. You only think of the limitations it has put them in. On the rough days you sit there by bed side knowing and fully believing they will recover from this. You don’t tell anyone because you know this is just a chapter in our lives and it will pass. You are not sad for you know there is no reason to be. Then once again you get the phone call. This time she says I am going in for surgery, I love you, see you when I am done. You head to the hospital only to hear they couldn’t perform the surgery she only has a few more days to live. You’re crushed. She is supposed to make it. The next few days you never leave the hospital. You sleep in her room, eat with her, hold her hand, and just listen to her even when she makes no sense anymore. A week goes by. She shows signs of improvement and gets to go home. You’re feeling better so you don’t spend all waking hours with her. You hang out with some friends and start to lighten up. Then you get the phone call. This time it isn’t her. Its another loved one saying she went home to Jesus come say your goodbyes. You feel horrible. You weren’t there. Even if you were there was nothing you could do. The fact of there is nothing you could have done consumes your mind and tears you down. But you have to let go. And you still have to believe. You still visit her, just now her spirit is with God and her body lies in the ground. You miss her and as hard as it, you know you will see her again.