Blah

Well I have been out of work for a week. No one is at the house and Gary is at work. I have been very bored. Fail for trying to keep up on blogging. Surprisingly not much has been on my mind. Shock. I wishh I had so profound ideas about things but I guess I dont. I have been thinking a lot about my Grandpa. My cousins wedding is coming up and it will be the first family get together since he went to prison. So weird. Im not sure how I feel anymore about the holidays. it reminds me of when my dad used to say its just another day. I shouldnt feel that way about Christmas should I? idk. Just one of those struggling days I guess.I am just still in search of my family that used to be

I might work thru Christmas which I dont mind cuz I am nervous about Garys family anyways. I thought Christmas was about Family. I guess I dont know my own definition of that. And how does it work when you live 1800 miles away from whats left of my family?